Tanz Der Katzen Youji's dream
by Dane
Summary: With the help of his friend alcohol, Youji escapes the usual dreams of Asuka and instead finds himself immersed in a dream world reloving around a different theme...
1. Enter the town

Tanz Der Katzen Weiss Kruez/ Tanz Der Vampire crossover...of sorts

Disclaimer: The Characters of Weiss do not belong to me... Neither does the musical the dream is basing itself off of. Please don't sue me ;;

* * *

Youji set the already empty glass down on the end table next to the chair he sat in...Considering how much alcohol he had in his system from last night, he didn't need much more to reobtain the buzz he had last night...

That combined with the early wake up call and the morning's antics didn't help with Youji's wakefulness... He was not a morning person after all...

Reguardless of the reasons... Youji was eventually asleep.

Fortunately for him, his dream was just an alcohol induced one and not his usual fare. (I say fortunately because the normal dreams get annoying)

* * *

Youji was freezing... And reasonably so considering that he was trudging through the snow in the northern wilderness... Exactly where this northeren wilderness was he wasn't sure... for dreams aren't that informational 

And why was he carrying so many damn suitcases? Even he didn't need to pack this much clothing for a vacation or a mission. Which could only mean that he was traveling with at least another person...

Youji looked around for his companion but with none visible, continued to trudge through the snow... Damn it was freezing... He certainly hoped whoever had been traveling with him wasn't already dead.

Hearing a wolf's howl in the distance, Youji managed to move his feet a bit quicker... forget the other guy he's going to look for some damn shelter.

It was then he saw an umbrella sticking out a snowdrift... Considering he hadn't been in this spot before that probably meant that...

Dropping the bags, Youji ran over to the snowdrift to dig into the drift, eventually uncovering a rather stiff and slightly blue body.

"...KEN?"

When the assassin didn't reply, Youji sighed and lifted Ken over his shoulders before picking up the dropped baggage. Trudging once more through the frozen landscape, he could swear he was hearing the sounds of fiddle music and singing in the distance. Encouraged by this, he trudged a bit quicker... wanting to warm up as fast as he could.

He couldn't help but to think that this seemed familiar...

* * *


	2. Warming up

Tanz Der Katzen Weiss Kruez/ Tanz Der Vampire crossover...of sorts

Disclaimer: The Characters of Weiss do not belong to me... Neither does the musical the dream is basing itself off of. Please don't sue me ;;

* * *

Youji grunted as he carried Ken and the baggage towards the sounds... "Damn Ken... you've really got to loose...some weight!" Although he was tempted to drop the baggage to make his travels easier... something told him to keep a hold of them... 

As he came closer to the sounds of music, he could see the lights from a town through the gaps in the trees... _Finally! Heat!_

Quickening his pace... well as much as he could with all the suitcases and the fact he was carrying Ken ... Youji approached the town... heading to the outermost building which also seemed to be the source of the music...

The music stopped suddenly as he opened the door. As he was greeted with the stares of the building's patrons, he dropped the suitcases to the floor.

"My friend needs help."

"He's frozen! Omida bring the chair here quick!"

_Omida? What the hell..?_

"And bring some hot water too!"

... Come to think of it... that voice sounded familiar too...

Looking at the people in the main room, Youji's facial expression showed that of surprise as he saw Omi in a maid outfit, dragging a chair over. To add onto it... the owner of the voice was... Tot?

As he set Ken's stiff body down in the chair, he was presented with another surprise as Nagi, dressed in what could only be described as old time attire, bowed in greeting.

"I welcome you to the best inn around... My name is Nagal and that beautiful maid is Omida."

Tot seemed to clear her throat as she tapped an umbrella menacingly.

"Oh and my wife, Totka.", Nagal added with a sigh.

"Hurry up Omida... the steam will ease the man's cramps!"

Nagal shrugged, "How about putting some vodka on their noses?"

Omida... Nagal...Totka?... And in the middle of some snowy town... with a bunch of people who were playing music until he came in with Ken... This sounded way too familiar.

It wasn't until they started singing about the praises of garlic that he realized just WHY this seemed so familiar...

_Oh NO! I'm trapped in a musical!_

* * *


	3. Big Round Things

Tanz Der Katzen Weiss Kruez/ Tanz Der Vampire crossover...of sorts 

Disclaimer: The Characters of Weiss do not belong to me... Neither does the musical the dream is basing itself off of. Please don't sue me ;;

* * *

While Youji's in relative shock at his discovery, Ken apparently defrosted and was getting excited over the sight of the garlic strung around the necks of the Villagers. Youji however wasn't really focusing on that detail until after Ken grabbed his arm, and whispered in his ears. 

"Do you see those round things around their necks?"

Youji arched an eyebrow at Ken's statement… Of COURSE he saw it! How could you not see such large round things, "Uhhh… yeah."

"That's garlic….GARLIC!" "No kidding… I never would have thought about it with them singing the themesong about the stuff…." "What?" "Nothing." "The aim of our mission is here!" Ken whispered gleefully as he waved Nagi- err… Nagal over, "Mr. Landlord!"

Nagal made his way over to Ken and smiled, "My name is Nagal… At your service I ho-" "Professor Hidakas." Ken interrupted, "Tell me, is there a castle around?" "A castle?... why no…" Nagal's eyes shifted in the manner of a terrible liar

Youji sighed….

_Three…. Two….. on-_

"There's the Count's castle!" The singing by the background characters stopped.

Youji sighed in quiet appreciation…

_Thank you village idiot._

Glancing over at the one who spoke up he was slightly amused to see that Taketori was playing the idiot.

"There's no castle… just a village idiot.", Nagal rebutted.  
"Then why is everyone in the inn wearing garlic?" Ken countered.

Youji sighed as he heard the background music start up once more….

_Oh dear…. Not that…. Anything but a refrain!_

Was he the only one here seeing where this was going?

Apparently so as Nagal continued… Starting to lead into the new part of the garlic song.

"Garlic? Garlic helps against all kinds of things!" NO! Not more singing about Garlic!

"Boils…."

_Oh please…_

"…toothaches…." "Vampires…" Youji added in.

"Yes…definitely that," Nagal agreed before pausing to reflect on what he said… "Wait! No!" Youji grinned as the background music came to a sudden halt at the interruption of the lyrics… Score one for Youji.

"A HA!", Ken shouted triumphantly.  
"No fair! I got caught up in the moment!", Nagal protested.  
"But you admitted it… let's just save time and stick with that." Youji insisted.

"Oh…. Fine." Nagal replied with a pout… "We have vampires around here… So… is that two for a room?"

"As opposed to being outside with the vampires?... sure."

Youji had a feeling he wouldn't be using the room that much but at the moment he didn't care… He managed to stop the Garlic song. Although quite enjoyable when sung in German… it sort of lost it's flair when translated word for word into Japanese for singing...

Happy with that accomplishment, Youji was about to turn to gather the suitcases when he noticed a flash of red from the top of the staircase." Curious, the assassin glanced up to the person situated at the top while an amused expression formed on his face as he recognized Aya…. In a dress.

"Aya?"

Nagal looked at Youji, "How do you know my daughter ?"

This only inspired Youji to look at Nagal with an expression that could only be categorized as a 'wtf?' expression, "Daughter?"

"Ayah's adopted," Nagal tried to explain.

"That doesn't explain the gender confusion."

* * *


	4. Candles

It's funny...

He didn't think he was that drunk but apparently he was... because she's not here...

No bickering... no recreations of her death... no forcing him to kill her once again...

Just silence...

Just him... and the void he lingered in now.

Pure bliss...

"Thank god."

He relaxed, letting the darkness soothe him with it's peaceful quiet... feeling so comfortable... lying down on a cushioned bed...

chirp

What was that?

chirp chirp

Youji opened his eyes, finding himself on the bed of a quaint inn... however the change of location wasn't what was the focus of his attention... it was the bird sitting on his foot.

chirp chirp!

Youji gave a slight groan as he shook his foot... trying to shoo the bird away and failing miserably as the winged creature remained on his foot...How on earth was it staying on?

CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!

"Shut up, I want to sleep."

CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!

Youji shook his head as the annoying creature kept chirping at him... cutting into his silence...

CHIIIIIRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!

Youji sighed as it was very much aparent that this bird was not about to let him get anymore rest.

"Stoppen Sie es!"

The bird stopped chirping while a rather surprised Youji sat in bed. Did he just?...

"Warum bin ich sprechender Deutscher?"

Youji clamped his hands over his mouth... What on earth was going on? Why was he speaking in German? Ok granted it wasn't like he had never taken a course in German before but still for him to start yelling in that language to a bird?

There was something going on here... he had a feeling he should know why this was happening but for the life of him he couldn't quite come up with an explanation for this...

The bird flew off of his foot towards an open window... for some reason this prompted Youji to get out of bed and approach the window as well... however unlike the bird he did not go flying into the late morning sky...

Instead he watched the activity outside the inn... There Nagal was sawing wood, Totka was plucking a goose and Omida was chopping up turnips... As the three worked on thier chores, Youji could pick up pieces of their conversation...

They were all speaking in German... fluently.

So caught up on that detail of language choice, Youji didn't notice a newcommer until Nagal spoke up again... The ahem females stopping their conversation as well...

"Nicht wieder..."

Picking up on Nagal's utterance of displeasure, Youji turned to see the cause of the statement... A hunchbacked figure came creeping down the path towards the innkeeper... short white hair... scars... and a crazed eye, fixating on Nagal as the inkeeper hurriedly bowed in greeting to the mishappen man.

Well that explained the odd reaction from the others...

"Greetings Mr. Farfol. What can I do for you?"

"C...candles"  
"Candles? We're short on them ourselves... I don't think we can get you an"  
Nagal stopped quickly as he dodged a knife being thrown at him.  
"Candles it is!"

Nagal scampered off. 


	5. The Sponge

What a day...

After Nagal had gone off to fetch the candles, Ken...err.. Professor Hidakas had come across the scene asking questions as to who this Farfol was, needless to say, the townspeople were far from helpful in their information.

This had only encouraged Hidakas to give a Looooooooonnnggg lecture about how logic led him to believe that there was more to this than the townsfolk were leading on. Well duh.

He was unsure where all the time had went but he did know that everyone had been busy... and his muscles were aching.

Aching so much that he decided to go prepare a nice hot bath in the hall bath that the rooms shared... Considering how soundly Hidakas was sleeping now and that the other guests were still downstairs drinking to their hearts content, he figured he had enough time to just soak for a bit.

Youji emptied the last bucket of hot water into the tub. Apparently these people hadn't heard of plumbing... but no matter... after all of the buckets were emptied in, and he managed to agitate the water enough to make the soap a little bubbly, he started to disrobe .

Pants down at his ankles, Youji started to unbutton his shirt. He stopped however as he heard the door to the bathroom start to open. Damn cheap doors... locks are worthless...

"I'm sorry!"

At the sound of the voice, Youji spun his head around to look at the bathroom intruder, seeing Ayah... dressed in a loose fitting robe... his hands clutching the top of the robe together as if there was something to hide up there. 

Youji's cheeks flushed as he remembered that he was standing there with his pants around his ankles.

"Oh... good evening..."

Ayah looked from Youji over to the bath, apparently not noticing the lack of pants as he seemed to figure out the situation.

"You want to bathe... Am I interrupting?"

... Is he interrupting? Of course he's interrupting... Youji's muscles ached a lot and Ayah's prescence was the only thing keeping Youji from completely disrobing and plopping himself in the tub he just finished filling.

"No...not at all..."

Youji could swear he heard faint music start in the background right now...

Ayah gave a slight smile.

You are really very nice... So you'll forgive me... Locked up in a room full of garlic, I am always alone.

Youji arched an eyebrow at this... Ok granted they were in vampire country but the entire room full of garlic, "You mean your father locks you up in your room?"

Aya nodded.  
"Yes... even though I am almost twenty."

Ok... that just brings up more questions than it answers... such as what on earth is the legal adult age around here? however before he could ask any other questions, he watched as a yellow object fell from Ayah's robe pocket.

"You dropped your sponge"  
Aya bent down to pick it up, and then held it against Youji's cheek... the look on his face very neutral, "It's so soft... I love it."

Ok... so Ayah has a sponge fetish... interesting...

Ayah seemed to be giving him a glare as if waiting for agreement.

"Uhh... yes... it's a lovely sponge..."

Ayah seemed to give a slight nod of approval to Youji's response before offering Youji the sponge. "I'm giving it to you... I've got two."

Ok this was getting weird. "No that's fine... "

Ayah glared, "I've...got...two..."

There was no mistaking THAT look. Youji took the offered item, "Thank you... Can I give you something as well?"

Ayah seemed to take Youji's question into consideration... debating about something, "Can I ask a favor of you instead?"

"umm... sure... what is it?"

Ayah stepped closer to Youji, "You've got what I'd like.  
It's healthy to do it...At least I like to do it...At least once a day..."

Ayah circled Youji in his approach of the blonde, "So be a dear for me, Please let me have it!"

Youji's eyes widened in confusement... No... he couldn't mean that... This was Aya! Sure he was in a dress and had an 'h' added to the end of his name but it was still Aya... The ice prince!

Youji wasn't sure when but Ayah had backed Youji close to the bathroom door.

"No one has to know..."

Ok... this definately sounded like what he origionally thought.

"Well..."

Ayah smiled as he stood rather close to Youji, placing his hand on Youji's houlder, "Good... then I'll get undressed... and groan with pleasure..."

Oh god Ayah really was going to do it! With that, Ayah pushed the surprised Youji out of the bathroom and shuts the door. "... In a bath full of bubbles!"

Dammit! 


	6. The Invitation

Finding himself in the hallway, Youji pulled up his pants, which conveniently stayed around the ankles without tripping him while walking about, his gaze moved from up and down the hallway to make sure no one else saw him. 

Well at least that's some blessing...

Dammit... conned out of that nice warm bath... He could be such a sucker for nice bodies at times...

Oh well... at least SOMEONE was enjoying the hot water.

Youji leaned against the door with a sigh as he heard the sounds of singing from behind the door. 

" Didn't have Ayah pegged for the singing in the bath tub type. " He muttered as he just listened to the repetitive tones coming from within the room. He somewhat regretted it as the last note Ayah sang went sour.

" Someone needs practice. " Youji mused to himself, giving a slight chuckle... Oh well... can't have everything.

" Good evening. "

Youji's amusement ceased as he heard the second voice in the bathroom. Now he had been at the door since Ayah pushed him out and the only other way in was the skylight. That coupled with the change of the background music to one more forboding he had a feeling that the newcomer was bad news...

" Don't be afraid of me...I am the angel Which you long for..." 

Youji grimaced as he heard the words of the stranger... who was apparently talking to Ayah... who was likely already stripped down in the tub. " Pervert. "he muttered... apparently forgetting his complaint as he peeked through the keyhole to 'investigate'. All he could see was a man, standing on the edge of the tub, looking down at the person situated in the tub... He'd probably be amused at how silly the stance was if it wasn't for the cape and slicked back hair that pratically screamed 'vampire'. 

" Ken err... PROFESSOR! Vampire! "

Inside the bathroom he could hear the sounds of cursing.  
" ... you dance with me, midnight ball... attendance mandatory. " 

The sounds of someone falling out of bed and scurrying feet could be heard as Hidakas's door swung open, the befuddled looking professor hurring over to where Youji was before opening the door. 

" Where is he ?", Hidakas asked, glancing about the bathroom for the intruder.

Ayah gave an innocent look, " Where is who? "

Youji inwardly groaned. What was it with townspeople being so damn secretive? 

"Idioten."


	7. Ken is so dead

Disclaimer: Tanz Der Vampire and Weiss Kruez are not mine... If they were... I wouldn't be writing this. In addition, this chapter I had help from two friends who are known as Questionable5375 and Akiame online with the Omi and Ken parts respectively. (Thankees)

* * *

Omi had been happilly playing a game on his laptop, ignoring the sleeping Youji in the living room. Honestly, that guy could sleep anywhere! As the Chibi won another round and was about to go to another level, he heard Youji muttering something under his breath. Pausing his game, Omi walked over to check up on Youji to make sure that he was indeed sleeping... finally registering what Youji was saying. 

_Did Youji even know any foreign languages?_

A mental image of a certain red headed German came to mind... Shuldig! Oh god... Youji's been possessed! Backing away from the slumbering blonde, Omi looked to Ken who had currently occupied himself with a bike magazine. "Ken... come here..." Omi whispered...

* * *

_ Things were just not going their way. In just a matter of hours, Ayah had run off somewhere and Nagal had run off into the woods to search for his... ahem daughter. As some villagers returned with the innkeeper's corpse, it was very apparent that Nagal wasn't exactly successful in his search. Ken AKA Dr. Hidakas... in his wiseness, decided that he'd suggest putting a stake through Nagal's heart just in case... Needless to say, the widow was far from happy with the situation, which was very much emphasized when Totka grabbed Hidakas's umbrella and started swinging it threateningly at them. _

Youji shook his head at Ken as they were now hiding out in the room they were renting... The Professor needed to work on his people skills. 

"Happy now? She was on the verge of kicking us out!" 

The professor waved his hands dismissively at Youji as he placed his ear against the door, "Hush... As soon as they leave the body alone we are going to stake it." 

"I somehow doubt that the widow will be leaving the body's side anytime soon>," Youji muttered, "Particularly after your offer of mutilating the deceased." 

"But it's to prevent him from becoming one of the undead!" 

"And somehow that isn't comforting for his survivors... I wonder why."

* * *

Youji wasn't sure how long the wait was and neither did he care... he was busy packing the bags while the Professor had his ear to the door... After all...when the widow found a big wooden stake in the chest of her dead husband... he had a feeling she would assume it was them responsible. (I wonder why? ) And when that happened... he wanted to have it possible to make a quick escape before the lady figured out how to make that umbrella (which she had yet to return) more dangerous. 

"I think they are all gone now." 

Show time. 

Youji closed up the last of the bags and walked over to the door...however as he reached the doorknob to turn it, he could hear the faint sounds of a young voice singing a rather depressing number... Something about how being dead is funny. 

The professor looked to Youji curiously, apparently able to hear the sounds but not make out the words, "What is he saying?" 

"Tot zu sein ist komisch..." 

Youji shook his head, "We might have to wait a bit longer... song numbers take a couple minutes at least." 

With that, the two moved away from the door as they just shuffled their feet in impatience. 

* * *

Ken moved over to where Omi was frantically pointing and noticed that Youji was muttering in his sleep. A mean look formed on his face, "You know, it's fun to play with people when they're dreaming..." 

Leaning closer to Youji's ear he whispered quietly, assuming that Youji was dreaming about a girl,"You know she's taken by me, right? But isn't she hot?"

* * *

After waiting about ten minutes, Youji and the professor snuck down to the tavern area of the inn to 'finish the job'. 

"Now I need you to do the staking... since I'm too feeble for this task"> 

"You just don't want to do any work." 

"That too... now remember to feel three ribs down to locate the heart... Once you find the right spot... drive the stake in." 

"Yeah yeah ... I've heard it all before..." 

Youji approached the sheet covered corpse and walked over to where Nagal's head had been resting earlier... reaching his hand over to where the innkeeper's chest should be located under the sheet, he pressed his hand down to search for the ribs... 

What he got instead was someone's crotch. 

"The body's been... rotated?" 

The Professor looked curiously to Youji and ripped the sheet off the body, exposing not Nagal's body but Omida's... located on the neck was two puncture wounds. 

The professor nudged Youji, "You know she's taken by me, right? But isn't she hot?" 

* * *

"Sie pervert. Es sind Omida! " 

Omi went into full alert mode when he heard his name. _ So Schuldig's after me next, is he?_ Omi looked to Ken, "Ken be careful. He's speaking German." 

"Omi...?" Ken blinked, looked over at the boy in question then looked back to Yohji, "You're doing Omi? But he's so young, Yohji!" 

He grinned evilly over at Omi, "So? He's fun to play with." Obvious, the thought of Schulidich didn't enter his head.

* * *

Despite Youji calling the professor a pervert, Hidakas didn't seem to leave it at that as it seemed the professor has become even crazier than normal. 

"You're doing Omi? But he's so young, Yohji!" 

What the hell? 

Youji didn't have much time to think about it as he noticed a bit of movement in the corner. 

"Er ist hier." 

As the missing Nagal was dicovered sneaking to the door, the two vampire hunters chased after Nagal... stakes raised and ready to destroy the undead creature... The chase could only be described as reminiscent of a keystone cops show... 

* * *

"WHAT!" 

Omi was shocked at the direction this was going. Schuldig was an evil, evil, evil man. 

Omi geared himself up for battle. 

"Yeah, Omi's right here. Don't tell me you want him again, Yohji? Aren't you going too far?" Ken grinned again, "You both -are- fun to play with." He stuck his tongue out lightly at him. 

Omi glared at Ken, "You are so dead." 


End file.
